Strength vs Building Walls

I hope you are all having a beautiful December! I have been doing some reflecting these last few days.  It’s something I like to do when a lot of change has happened and I want to make sure I am and centered with where I am investing my energy.  With all the change that has happened for me recently, I couldn’t believe just how quickly life can shift when you are ready for it. From leaving the job that didn’t make my spirit happy, embracing a wonderful new part time job, rearranging my entire apartment, saying goodbye to the past, allowing new abundance in, and meeting and connecting with special beings, it has been a time of great transformation for me.  

But I have learned such a great deal about myself in how I have embraced this change.  Both beautiful and challenging. 

Over the last few years, I have learned a lot about my emotional, mental, and physical strength.  It has been a time of letting go, but in these changes, I noticed I was getting too good at letting go. Though learning about my resilience and the beauty of standing up for the life I want to create for myself, I noticed I was building more walls and losing the flow my spirit resonates with.  There’s a term a lot of people use called “Jaded.” I kind of laugh at the word because it truly fit my situation more than I thought! With all of these manifestations unfolding, I was  becoming wary that it could all go wrong and inevitably experienced distance from my higher self.  While doing this almost unconsciously, I didn’t realize that it was keeping me from allowing all the good in and living in that.  

It is common for most of us to get lost in the negative and sad thoughts.  We tend to spend days listening to music that fits those thoughts, consuming energy that keeps us in that state of being. But when something beautiful happens, we often enjoy it for a moment and then wonder if it’s too good to be true. We don’t sit with it for days or weeks because our human mind is not conditioned in that way. But how unfair is that to the beauty that life has to offer us? How unfair is that to ourselves?  

One of my best friends is the one who allowed me to bring this part of me to light. Over coffee last week, I was expressing all the wonderful changes that have happened. As I said these things out loud, I was also catching myself saying things like, “It’s great but…”, 
“I’m afraid of…” and then I realized there was so much more I wasn’t really allowing in.  I don’t tend to have these thoughts when approaching life, so I knew something was off.  Mindfulness can be tough because it requires us to address these energies within ourselves.  Though I was feeling great, looking great, and embracing these manifestations, there was still a part of me that was wanting to be too strong to let it in.  And these fear patterns were solid evidence of that. I noticed it affecting certain parts of my being, but that coffee date was the sign from the universe to turn it around. We can’t have fear and expect the universe to manifest our deepest dreams.  We have to be radiating the energy we are ready to experience.  Once I noticed I was doing this, I knew I was ready to let go of those fear patterns and choose my higher self. I was ready to let it all in with an open heart and protect myself in the allowing.

Since that moment, I vowed to allow. To be strong, but not approach change by dissecting everything.  Rather keeping this strength in me, breaking the walls down, and walking out into life, arms wide open.  I am turning jaded into strength, into love and receiving. 

The truth is, life is never going to be 100% perfect, and I can almost guarantee you wouldn’t want it to.  Imagine how boring life would be if every single thing we ever wanted came to life in an instant. If we didn’t have the moments that taught us of our bravery or strength. The whole point of us coming into these bodies, is to have the human experience. To see life from this angle is a manifestation of its own  🙂 It is good to be strong, but it is a disservice to ourselves to build walls in order to contain that strength. Our strength is in our spirit, not in what others do or what life does.  When we approach life with love, when we go out into the world with the ability to live in the joy, in the too good to be trues, we begin to get more and more of it ❤

I will be recording a podcast to expand on this tomorrow and can’t wait to discuss more. Please know my loves, you are worth more than just a life, but a wonderful one. One without fear, one with resilience and bliss.  And it sits in the very being that you are.  

Love and Light,


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