As human beings, we witness and live through many relationships. Friendships, Romantic love, coworkers, social networks, Family bonds. These become major parts of our human experience. Though many encourage our self love and growth, many can promote behaviors we are trying to change in order to live in our truth.
But when do we get the chance to turn it around? When do we make the choice to let go? And better yet, how?
This has always been something I have struggled with. In my past, I often hung onto energies that were not serving me. Many have clouded my higher self over time. This is not to say these are bad people or that I am better than anyone else (we are all created in love at our source). But my lower vibrations and willingness to forgive too often made me stay in a stagnant and unhappy place within myself. And that only encouraged me to place myself in more situations that weren’t true to me. These relationships were keeping me from discovering the love I had for myself, but I didn’t know any different at the time. I didn’t know I could let go and that it would be okay.
I am learning that many of these energies are mirrors as my spiritual teachers would put it. The people and situations are reflecting the energy I am radiating in the moment, good and bad. Think of all the times you can sense tension or negative energy with someone. Energy is what we are. We pick up on these things all the time.
This is why self love is so important. It takes an unfathomable amount of courage and energy to face ourselves, sit with ourselves, forgive ourselves and let go. Just thinking about starting this process is enough to keep us where we are. Because letting go is releasing energies we have attachments to. And who wants to break from something that feels so comfortable and “right” to the rest of the world. There is a huge amount of fear that comes with that. This is due to our conditioning as humans that love is needed to be happy. But I am here to remind you, YOU ARE LOVE! The universe made you in love 🙂
Once you come to understand this of your truest self, the relationships that flourish from that vibration are beautiful and become beautiful. People no longer become a source of anything but beauty to be enjoyed, experienced and loved.
This is why I am always encouraging everyone to spend a lot of time with mother earth. I know it seems that we don’t have the time, but we do. This is one of our most important relationships because it is our truth. Looking up at the sky and remembering how small you are and just how much this universe is supporting and loving you. You are as gorgeous as the sunshine remember? You came from the very material that made the stars. There are no limits in that. You are limitless, so don’t hold so tightly to the things that don’t make you feel that way. Relationships should not be difficult. When the positive self talk exists in you, it can exist in the way you communicate with others. Don’t be afraid to sit with yourself and really reflect. This is the first step.
You don’t need to remove everyone in your life and start a new (but if you need to, that’s okay too!) but learning to remove the really draining energies is important. I’ve been evaluating a lot of my relationships these last few years. From ending a 4 year relationship, even longer friendships, and refraining from building certain relationships, it has been emotional to say the least. I used to fear being alone, and now I am able to let go when needed and move into a better state almost immediately. I’ve definitely sat and had to grieve releasing people I loved, but I could not be happier in who I am and the life I am experiencing. I used to take the worry, the neediness, the fear of losing into my core and it made me sick.
Truthfully, It is unfair for us to also put such heavy expectations on others. We forget that everyone also deserves to enjoy their own human experience. If they are worried about making us happy, they are losing out on making themselves happy. This is another part of the self love journey. We have to notice when our energies are draining towards others.
Remember that none of this means you’re a bad person either. We each have had experiences that shaped who we are today. If we grew up the exact way as someone else, we may have come to treat others the same. Releasing judgement on yourself and others is important in embracing our collective energy.
It is such a freedom to see how much my world has changed around me and how many energies are expanding the love I have for myself. People who encourage me, laugh with me and embrace the sunset the way I do. I used to genuinely believe I had to mold myself into other’s expectations. That’s how afraid I was to let go and begin a new.
A lot of people ask me why I felt such an urge to shift my life. The truth is, I lived a good 26 years not loving myself and when I got a taste, I knew it was time to move forward. I didn’t feel like I was being fair to myself or the universe by limiting myself to comparison and validation. In fact, I am still learning and letting go.
In learning who you are, you will begin to understand how nothing can be worth the love you have for yourself. You begin to come into your higher self, embrace your talents, your being, and really discover what is worth keeping in your presence. And once you radiate that energy out, miracles happen.
I really just want you to know that you got this. An affirmation I repeat every day is this:
“I am loved. I am supported. I am wonderful!” Speak this into existence love. Every day, say it and it will unfold.
You are worth the greatest kind of love. The love for yourself. You are worth loving, uplifting and like minded relationships. You are worth enjoying every bit of your life.
It begins with letting go. ❤