Finding Our Light, Even On The Bad Days

Something I have become very conscious of in the last few years is how each experience can reveal something about our nature.  This can range from the beautiful to the scary. The blissful to the crippling. The mind patterns that sit with us long after a difficult or beautiful moment has passed.

The fears, insecurities, and sadness that can come alive at any moment. These are parts of our being that we hold tightly to because of what we have been conditioned to hold deep.

I recently experienced a few days that felt all too familiar in the human self department.  I had a giant wave of depression come over me and genuinely had no idea why.  It was a fog that kept my negative self talk alive and quite loud.  I began to compare myself to others, focus on my failures, and push away my connection to the universe.  These days, these moments don’t last long for me, but they were something I battled for years in my past self.  They arrive in all of us but for many, they can stay for weeks, months, and years.

The most terrifying thing to do in these moments is to be mindful, but this is how we get to the source and truly begin to move forward.

To sit with our thoughts the way we sit with our happiness is not an easy task.  But it is a form of self-love.  Because the more we can expose ourselves to our fear, the easier we come into a place of understanding it and letting it go. Truly choosing to look the monster in the eyes, and allowing it to become less scary.  This will often cause a lot of emotions to arise, but you will reach a point where you know this is not the way it is supposed to be.  If the sun can gift us life and serotonin, and the stars can glow in the sky, we can make peace with the darkness.

You see, in the grand scheme of things, we are energy. Flowing energy in a body.  It is the comparison we get caught up in. The idea of what a happy life is or how humans should exist.  The idea that if we had more money, more travel, more friends or lovers that life would be so much easier.  This is what keeps us in that lack mentality. The mindset that keeps us from discovering our own life and living our own truth.

I used to be afraid to express how simple I wanted to exist.  I am all for abundance, manifesting and receiving infinite blessings.  But for me, I always knew the earth and being alive was enough.  That living simple, loving others, and helping our world was my calling.  I think that is where I have found the most peace.  After I pulled myself away from the expectations I placed on myself, I experienced my world change.  I started this blog, started something I believed in.  Took really tough and insecure moments with my vasculitis and turned it into a form of healing; for myself and others.  I have made such wonderful connections to other creative individuals because of this and all of the things I used to “think” would make me happy are arriving anyway! Not in a way that complete me.  But in a way that I get to enjoy them as bonuses, and embrace them for being present to the energy I am radiating.

With all of that said, I want to share two really special people in my life who came at a time I needed to do the most spiritual and physical healing.  The biggest shift I made in my life was to surround my days with uplifitng messages and people.  It has changed everything. I hope these wonderful spirits help you on your journey to find the light that has always existed within you.

First, I would like to introduce you to the lovely Ralph Smart, also known as Infinite Waters. I stumbled upon Ralph through a suggestion on Youtube a little over a year ago.  I remember crying over a toxic heartbreak and asked the universe, “please help me. I don’t know where to go next.” I opened up my iPad and there he was with a video that felt made for me! I attribute Ralph for being my universe that day. It was the last day I felt entangled in that heartache and it only led me to more of my spiritual teachers and higher self.

Ralph is someone I can turn to when I genuinely need to uplift my energy, or when I need to listen to someone who resonates with my higher self.  His quirky character is so beautiful and he’s definitely a wonderful example of what it is to live in YOUR truth.  He talks about anything from friendship to self-love; heartbreak to soul mates; energy to finding your own personal success.  He has put so much into spiritual perspective and reminds us to love ourselves through each moment. If you need someone to shift your energy, Ralph is that being. Gratitude for sharing your love and light Ralph!

My other light is Mooji, a spiritual teacher I came across through Ralph (Did I mention the universe is amazing and full of synchronicity yet?!).  I listened to this exact meditation and I give it credit for truly waking me up to my own endless energy and love. I had no idea the spiritual journey I would go on from that point. Whenever I am getting caught up in my ego and the material world, I throw on a satsang, meditation or talk from Mooji and instantly feel that connection to source again.  His teachings are about removing the barriers of the human self. About letting go of the constructs that inevitably aren’t real.  He speaks about the place of peace not being a place we arrive to but rather are. A place that has always and will always exist in us. I am also going to share his talk about depression for anyone who is in a moment of darkness they can’t seem to break free from.

I have so much love pouring from heart in sharing these two beautiful souls with all of you.  I don’t doubt that they will help in moments where you are forgetting how infinite and beautiful you are.

You deserve love, peace, and happiness in this life. You deserve to know that the power is in you.  These moments of pain can be present, but once you know that it will come to pass and nothing can destroy the light you are, you truly do become free. You got this love.

Love, Light, and Gratitude,


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